Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
