You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
