i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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