I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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