Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
