i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
