I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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