ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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