your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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