I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
