After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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