He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
