Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
