ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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