I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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