I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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