I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
