The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
