im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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