So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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