your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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