I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
