break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
