I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
A bitchslap is in order.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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