did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
