chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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