Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
