i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
