i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
