he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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