Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
