problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
