I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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