How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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