found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
