There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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