Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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