I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
he had hair everywhere except his balls
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
