guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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