He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
