I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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