Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
