420 ftw
please come you make the beer taste better
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
