How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
