i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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