She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
