What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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