i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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