I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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