I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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