I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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