Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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