The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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