Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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