I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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