I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
