Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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