Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
