it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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