Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
