By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They are going to name an STD after you.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
