I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
