My sheets look like a crime scene.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
