This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
