Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
