I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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