rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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