I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
