Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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