just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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