are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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