Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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