can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
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