haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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