is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
FUCK WHALES
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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