you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
