You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize