yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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