I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
