He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
