yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
