The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
