Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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